Our emotional maturity reflects in how we feel when we are not in a relationship, and how we feel and act when we are in a relationship.
Whether we are in a love relationship or not, relationships are our greatest teachers. They unmistakably point to all that is calling to be healed within us. Through life we go through various experiences that inevitably leave a mark. Usually we don’t turn inwards until a great crisis or illness occur or we finally have that moment when we say: “Enough!”
It is quite normal for you to experience problems, disappointments, losses and pain throughout your life. We are all here on Earth to experience, grow and learn through the lessons we chose. Some chose greater and more challenging lessons than others – but we know today, and all people who have had the opportunity to experience Life between lives therapy or have experienced near death experience confirm, that at soul level we choose which lessons we want to learn and experience.
What makes a difference is the level of our consciousness and our decision to deal with those painful and challenging moments.
Mostly the sequence of events goes like this: we experience pain, disappointment, being betrayed or abandoned. Emotional pain is so painful that our body starts to hurt. Heart is trying to talk to us about sadness and sorrow. Then, our stomach and intestines might try to digest the fear of the new and unknown. And then, we women are inclined to suppress guilt and disappointment in our ovaries and uterus so, fibrosis, cysts or other imbalances might appear. Men mostly talk about the pain in their chest or between the shoulder blades or about having high blood pressure … but, usually only when their body is already screaming.
In such situations, we often fall into unconscious patterns of behavior so we complain, protest, become angry or passive aggressive. We waste our energy and precious time.
Not to mention how we behave in our relationships with others. We close our hearts. We do not dare to love again. We lose trust in people, the opposite sex, life.
In our culture, from the early days we, especially men, are taught that being sad and crying is very wrong. “Come on! Boys do not cry!” And later: “Come on, he does not deserve you! There are plenty of fish in the sea! Let’s go out, we’ll find you another one!” And so on.
By denying our feelings we suppress sadness, hurt and disappointment even deeper into ourselves. Instead of healing them – we create a foundation for diseases to spread (body always keeps the score!). Apart from that we send out electromagnetic message that men/women can’t be trusted, that love is absurd or that true love does not exist … and by doing that we attract events that confirm to us exactly that!
Because what we believe - becomes our reality!
That is why working on ourselves is so important. First few weeks of the School of Personal Change “Create Your New Life” we pay great attention to our thoughts, feelings and physical symptoms in order to become aware of what has created the way our lives are today. We ask ourselves questions such as: ”What are my beliefs? How do I really feel? What is my body trying to tell me? What is the connection between the way I think and the way I feel and live?” That is the beginning of a series of Aha moments …our eyes open and a whole new world emerges before us! We dive into the deepest darkness to then rise in the magnificent light. Fear, sadness, guilt, shame and pain transform into strength, peace and love. Our life is taking a new turn. A turn towards love.
And one more thing – there is nothing wrong with sadness! Sadness is an important part of the transformational process if we are consciously moving through it. When we allow ourselves to dive into greatest depths of sadness instead of suppressing it (with excessive eating, drinking, smoking…) or run away from it (with partying, superficial relationships, burying ourselves in work, being obsessed with something …), that sadness quickly transforms into such power that leaves us stunned by our new selves, who we are becoming and what we are joyfully creating.