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Honestly – is it really somebody else’s fault?

How much time and energy do you waste on accusing and blaming others?

How much do you complain and run in circles? Are you overwhelmed with a sense of rage, anger and powerlessness?

You are probably fooling yourself that with complaining and blaming you give yourself power. Maybe you even feel powerful and excited at that moment. But how long does it last? If we are to be honest with ourselves – it lasts only for a little while. And then you need a new impulse… and then you again feed yourself with complaints and accusations… and again and again… running in circles.

Now stand aside and take an honest look at yourself – finally with your eyes open. How does this person look like to you? Powerful? Strong? Or perhaps pathetic and lost?

Are you ready to exit the vicious circle and start accepting all parts of yourself?

This is what, my dear ones, we call our Shadow. The very thing that drives you mad in another person is what you need to heal within yourself. Maybe that person has those traits that you too carry within you but are not aware of them (nor would you like to admit them). Maybe that person has something (you think) you don’t have and wish to have.

The answer lies within you! Those triggers – these people and situations – they are your greatest teachers! You should be immensely grateful to them! Because they are the ones showing you the way to your freedom!

When you start doing the heavy work and dive deep into yourself to find out why this person or situation is bothering you so much – that is the very first step towards freedom. Yes, it is not easy – but the sooner we admit this to ourselves, the sooner we will be out of the black hole… out of the vicious circle we spin in.

Shadows represent suppressed instinctive energies locked in the unconscious. We project our shadows onto others and attract the people who express our energies from the Shadow.

For example, if we can’t stand when other people are lazy, we should ask ourselves how much time do we give ourselves to rest and refresh; if we have rejected our own personal
power, our boss or our partner will be a tyrant; if we do not allow ourselves to be sad or angry we will criticize people who easily express these feelings. If we are suffocating and suppressing our emotions we will not be tolerant towards people who are needy, or who cry a lot or are very expressive.

We are using judgement in order to try to eliminate a stimulus that could wake up our shadow.

If we suffocate our shadow too strongly, we invest a huge amount of energy into this instead of something constructive. When we accept our shadow we have more understanding for ourselves and others and we open the doors to ease and creativity. This does not mean that we are giving away our awareness to the shadow but rather bringing the shadow into our awareness.

And with this finally – we become free!

Petra Brzović

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