If you have not found yourself in a situation in which your life threw you into learning the lesson of unconditional love – you have not learned much about love yet. Such relationships test all that we have learned so far and all that we are willing to do so that the person we love, as well as we – would be free.
Have you ever fallen in love with a person with whom for this or that reason you cannot be with? Have you loved so deeply that your whole body is craving for her/him, you create endless, magical movies of you two together in your mind, think of them the moment you wake up and they are the last on your mind before you fall asleep…and of course you dream of them while sleeping?
If love is returned – the situation might become even worse! You love her, she loves you. But you cannot be together. I am not writing about reasons such as he or she is still in a bad marriage (because today in most cases one can get a divorce quite easily) or that a person lives in the other end of the world (because planes fly non-stop, and technology does magic in connecting us wherever we might be … and after all – it is not so hard to move when you love someone) but rather about those rare situations in which, for example, a third person’s life (currently) depends on the person you fell in love with.
Oh, it’s so easy to get lost in the drama and live in scenarios ranging from “Poor me! I am never lucky in love! I finally found a man/woman who loves me and who I love and then God/Universe/Whoever is preventing us from being together!” all the way to blame, anger, irritation, and feeling completely powerless spiting words like: ,,Idiot! If he cared for me he would be with me! How does he not see that our love is worth it! I cannot do anything – everything is in his hands and he doesn’t want to do anything! And he says he loves me and cares for me! Yeah, right!”
Well my dear fellow Souls, love has so many faces ... so many layers ... so many shades ... and it's always here to teach us something new (or old if we haven't learned the lesson yet).
I know it is so easy to get drawn into some of the above scenarios. While we are still at lower levels of consciousness, we mostly live in the above mentioned scenarios. We flounder and torture ourselves while our precious time is passing by. Although luckily time is an illusion.
But when we decide to grow and to get out of the situation by stepping into a role of an objective observer (no matter how hard it is) miracles begin to happen. We become new, complete, full of love and calm. Calm! It’s so strange that we are in awe and keep on questioning ourselves what is going on.
Three things are important here:
- This has nothing to do with you not being good enough, worthy, beautiful, handsome, smart, interesting, good in bed, eloquent, or whatever you may have come up with
- This is a perfect opportunity for you to become aware of some of the before mentioned beliefs and how this situation makes you feel – to awaken, heal and transform because this person came to your life to help you, among other things, to reveal your Shadow and help you recognize what else is there inside of you that needs to be healed and transformed
- This has to do with this person’s current capacities and what he carries inside him, what he is dealing with, what he is learning now in life – and how ready and capable he is to be able to get out of the situation he is in. If he is in a situation where he feels that if he did anything to move or change current cirumstances, he would fall into pieces – there is nothing you can do to persuade him to do so. Actually, exactly the opposite will happen – he will withdraw from you because it is his way of survival and because (currently) he can’t do nothing more.
Will he ever be able to – we do not know that. But what we know is that only YOU can ACCEPT the situation as it is, work on yourself and what this relationship has brought to the surface for you to heal and UNCONDITIONALLY LOVE him – just as he is – with all the flaws and virtues. Because those are the exact reasons you fell in love with him, arent’ they?
P.S. We should also love unconditionally those we are in any kind of relationship with. Actually, we should unconditionally love EVERYONE.
Starting with ourselves.
But, I’ll write more about that in another blog!